France: January 8, 2002

I have never felt so alone in my life as I did today! It was wonderful meeting new people but it's not the same as having your closest friends and your family around. Now I know how Andrea feels living in Cleveland or how Grandma & Janice feel when no one calls them! I forget who exactly said it from IV but they were right...I do have the Lord with me no matter what. That's definitely a comfort! :) I responded to many e-mails from friends & family today. I even got to chat on-line with Justin! I was extremely happy about that! Today I met Monsieur Sicard who showed me (introduced me) to a couple of his classes. I felt like a specimen under a microscope. I had to give them some info about myself...of course in French. I was awful. I got a few chuckles from my new audience when I told them I am majoring in French. Apparently the miscommunication between ISEP and this university is larger than I first thought because it seems that Therese asked Monsieur Sicard to ask his students if they know of anyone I could room with next semester!! I thought all of this was supposed to be taken care of...but I have to remain calm and flexible. Speaking of calm and flexible, it seems like my apartment mate is becoming just the opposite and I don't know why. I asked her how to work my telecarte I bought at a tabac today for $7.50 Euros and she told me (rather harshly) that it wouldn't work on this phone here. When she showed me her card that she says works, I tried to look at it while she was holding it. I swear she almost got into a tug-of-war with me over it! All I wanted to do was look at it for goodness sake! And, I'm angry at the guy who "helped" me buy that thing at the tabac because he told me it would work on a home phone (telephone fixe)! I can't believe I'm writing this but I don't want to be here anymore! I want to go home. Wow. I'm actually crying now! DeeAnn told me she cried for the first 2 - 3 weeks in Spain because of all the problems she had with the administration; now I really and truly understand why. But, don't get me wrong...other than that strange interaction with my apartment mate, everyone here has been extremely patient and kind to me. I now know the name of that French girl who has been to "the States" and likes speaking English. Her name is Miriam and she's an English major. I met an extremely good-looking professor too but unfortunately I cannot remember his name. He looks rather young to be a professor. I'd say he's in his mid-thirties at the oldest. Very nice man, too. He asked me if I lilked the cafeteria food...I was like "Eh," and he said "Yeah." because the cafeteria food was just as bad as any. I wonder if cafeterias compete to see which can have the worst food? Ha! Although I did enjoy "les fruits"...a type of yogurt fruit cup...I had the Strawberries of course. I also had French Fries (les frites) and a salad. The french fries sucked big time. I ate the whole salad but it could've been better. Anyway, I'm seriously concerned about when I receive a stipend because I can't keep using my own money here...that's why I went through ISEP, duh! I wonder if I rubbed Eva the wrong way when I met her. I hope not. :( According to one of the staff members (whose name I can't remember at the moment) she was very nice. And, when I was asked about her today I said she was. But, I didn't mention how she's barely around for me to interact with her and when she is around it seems like she avoids me! I mean she was in the kitchen and shut the door after I walked by!! Isn't that pretty blatant?! Oh well. Might as well not get myself all worked up about it. I'm meeting someone, a French girl named Stephanie, (who was nice enough to try to help me out today...very patient with my speaking) tomorrow at noon on campus. I better buy a student bus pass soon because taking the bus this much is definitely adding up. Anyway, she's going to go with me to the International Office to ask Therese what the whole scoop is on my housing. Therese and Monsieur Sicard spoke privately before they met with me today. I think that's when she told him everything she should've told me first...like that they need to find me housing for next semester still. Apparently I'm not the only one in this boat though, because Monsieur Sicard mentioned that the other International students will need housing as well. We'll see what pans out for me. I talked to a couple of Chinese girls in the International Office today who told me to contact them for anything. They pay rent on a room out of a French family's house, perhaps I could do the same. Stephanie asked me a good question today that needs answering...Why can't I just stay in this apartment? I understand more people will be returning and it's for med students but who cares? Oh well...maybe I'll be better off if I can get a place on campus...at least I could probably walk to class instead of taking the bus. I also met a guy in the International Office from an island in the Indian Ocean called Maritius. His name is Nash; he's really nice. I also spoke with a French girl named Latifa...also extremely nice and patient with my French-speaking skills. Heck I know now how Moses felt when God told him he would be His spokesperson for the people of Israel...inadequate, inept and cowardly. But, I will trust in the Lord to get me through these difficult times of adjustment.